Sexual assault and rape continues in today’s society because of the many myths that are still believed and perpetuated. One way to stop this crime from continuing is to promote education regarding what rape and sexual assault is and what myths we may unconsciously accept as part of our belief system. Sexual abuse will be used as a generic phrase for all of these myths, but remember that rape, date rape, incest, molestation, and sexual assault can replace the more generic phrase.

MYTH: Sexual abuse can be justified under certain circumstances. 
FACT: Sexual abuse is never justified. Under no circumstance does anyone have the right to abuse some one sexually.

MYTH:  Most rapes involve a perpetrator who is a stranger to the victim.  FACT: More than 60% of all rapes are acquaintance rapes, that is, the perpetrator and the victim are, in some way, acquainted with one another.  Statistics are predominantly derived from "stranger" rapes which are more likely to be reported to law enforcement officials.

MYTH: It isn’t sexual abuse if the victim is intoxicated/unconscious/dressed provocatively/invited her date into her home/a woman. 
FACT: If the victim is unwilling to have sex, and is forced or coerced into having sex, it is sexual abuse (rape).  Consent by both parties must be present for it to be a mutual sexual encounter. If the victim is intoxicated (either by alcohol or drugs) or is mentally handicapped she/he is, by law, unable or incapable of providing consent.

MYTH:  Rape is about sex. 
FACT: Sex is the weapon used in a crime of pure violence.

MYTH: Sexual abuse is always violent. 
FACT: Sexual abuse in itself is a violent crime, but it does not necessarily have to be inflicted violently. Many perpetrators do not use a weapon, such as a knife, gun, etc., --the perpetrator's body is the weapon that is most often used.  Many victims of incest receive "loving" touches when the perpetrator is violating them sexually. The victim may choose to submit to the perpetrator, however, this happens because the victim genuinely believes that his/her life is in danger.  Remember: submission does not equal consent.

MYTH: Females cannot be abusers. 
FACT: Women are, quite often, the perpetrators in incidents of incest or child sexual abuse, as well as sexual abuse of other adults.  Even though male sexual assault stats are low, it does happen. Imagine how hard it must be for a male to admit he was abused, when so many women will not even report it.

MYTH: Rape is rare.  The actual number of women who are raped is small.  FACT: Rape is the fastest growing violent crime in the country and less than 15% of all rapes are reported to law enforcement.

MYTH: If women would stay at home, they would not be raped. 
FACT:  The most frequent place of occurrence is in the victim's home.

MYTH: Sexual abuse never involves pleasure for the victim. 
FACT: Many survivors of incest and childhood sexual abuse express feelings of shame or guilt because they received some form of enjoyment from their experience. It may have been the only affection they received from the perpetrator, who is often a trusted parent, family member, or caregiver.  The body naturally responds to physical touch.  The pleasure experienced,  however, does not make it right. The victims have been horribly violated, and they did not choose to have someone they trust sexually violate them.

MYTH: It is not sexual abuse if the victim consented. 
FACT: If a person is not capable of knowing what they are getting into, they have not consented (drunk/drugged/mentally handicapped/ underage of consent…) The victim may also choose to submit to the abuse in order to protect their life or the life of someone in their family.  Can it really be consent when the edge of a knife is pushed up against your throat?? 

MYTH: You cannot be sexually abused if you are married. 
FACT: Spouses are not excluded from being abused. If your spouse is pressuring you to have sex, and you have made it clear that you do not want to, but he forces you anyway,  it is rape.  It does not matter if you have not had sexual relations in weeks, or if he has had a bad day or if he is drunk.  If one really loves and honors his spouse, why would he ignore your wishes??

MYTH: If a sexual crime is not successfully prosecuted in a court of law, then it never happened. 
FACT: The unfortunate truth is that our legal system is imperfect. If the case reaches court, and the jury finds him not guilty, it just means that the state could not prove his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. It does not mean that the rape/assault never happened.

MYTH: It could NEVER happen to me. 
FACT: Yes it could. No matter who you are it can happen to you.  Unfortunately, you can be raped, you can be assaulted and stating otherwise only provides you with a false sense of security which actually renders you more vulnerable. If someone intends to harm/abuse you, they can do it, and it does not matter whether they are a stranger or a friend.

MYTH: Women who get sexually abused while hitchhiking get what they deserve. 
FACT: Poor judgment is never a rapeable offense.

MYTH: Many women fantasize about being raped and secretly want to be sexually abused. 
FACT: No one wants to be abused, no one wants to be hurt and have their power taken away. 

MYTH:  Sexual abuse cases most often involve a victim who is described as promiscuous or has a bad reputation. 
FACT: The majority of victims of sex crimes do not have a bad reputation. Many are children, pre-teens, and young adults who have never had sexual relations. Others are the elderly who have been abused by caretakers either in long-term care units or by those who come into their homes under the pretense of helping them.

MYTH: Most rapes involve an attacker and victim of different races. 
FACT: as is true for most violent crimes, 75% of all rapes involve persons of the same race.

MYTH: If a girl engages in necking or petting and she lets things get out of hand, it is her own fault. 
FACT: The fact is, sexual assault is always perpetrator's fault. The inherent message promoted by this myth is that the victim is responsible for the behavior of the perpetrator.  If both parties agreed on the necking and she has told her partner that she does not want to have sex, it is the other person’s responsibility to respect her choice. By the same token, a girl can pressure her partner into things that he may not want to do either. In all relationships we need to learn to listen to our partner’s wishes and respect them. 

MYTH:  Most rapists are men who have uncontrollable urges or who are psychopaths. 
FACT:  Most rapists are considered well adjusted, not mentally ill, and have a greater tendency than normal to express frustration and rage through violence.  Do not expect a rapist to be a "marked man" with particular identifiable characteristics--he may very well be your neighbor, co-worker, or even a family member.  If we describe rapists as "mentally ill" or "sick" then the implication is that the offender has an excuse for his behavior or that he did not have a choice but to sexually abuse the victim. 

MYTH:  Most rape reports are false.   
FACT: Less than 2% of all reported rapes turn out to be false reports.  Children who reveal that they are being sexually abused are almost NEVER lying.